The topic might seem to look like a controversial as some might feel that I am targeting men however I wanted to bring this as many are not aware of the issues pertaining to marriage & parenting nurtured in Indian traditions and due to small mis-understandings between a couple might lead to neglect and some unprecedented situations in life.
To start with, just a recap on what is marriage?. Marriage is an arrangement between two like minded people, which will lasts long, when there is emotional and physical attachment are there in equal. If one is high then the other, then a gap is formed in the marriage, which is never spoken and live a life that leads to clashes.
Usually, the first or second year of marriage will be good, due to equal physical & emotional attachment and a feel factor will exist within new couples due to various factor like new view points, new information, new approaches, new relationships, new emotions and so on. Every thing is new and the brain forms a good factor about life.
Let us consider a baby is conceived or born for the couple around the first or second year of marriage. Again, new relationships, emotions & physical attachment are renewed between the couple, due to the baby.
This feel factor will exist around when ...
if it is baby boy for 3 - 3 1/2 more years
if it is baby girl for 2 1/2 - 3 more years
If you look at the above statement, I have mentioned that the couple happiness lasts only 2 1/2 - 3 1/2 years after a kid is born? Seems to controversial and very targeting isn't it?
Let me try to explain you on this, in simple terms.
In Indian parenting traditional approach, when a kid is born, the attachment between the Mom & kid is there till s/he turns 12 years. What happens due to this? The attachment between couple reduces slowly. Remember physical & emotional attachment should be in EQUAL.
Just an eye-opener on this is :
The kid always hugs his/her Mom and sleeps, and naturally the husband/dad gives-in the first initial 2 to 3 years of birth of a kid, however when it prolongs, he feels that he wants the normal life back. This is the period where physical has been reduced drastically however emotional attachment still exist in the relationship, which bonds the couple to an larger extend.
For a relationship to last long, definitely you need to have both of them [things] in equilibrium. If you blame that the other is demanding, that is inability to understand the situations.
How do we over come this?
When the kid turns 3, teach him/her to sleep in a separate bed, preferably a separate bed-room also. Stick to it, what ever the situation is created by the kid. Why I am trying to say you this is, kids will be demanding and we might give-in very easily. Remember, this is parenting and you are not going to lose your relationship due to that hardship put on him/her. Don't give-in.
Once the kid is trained to sleep alone, then you will feel the attachment between couples blossom again and life is worth rewarding!
NOTE: I have specifically not used certain words & lines in this post, as I felt that those are not used to discuss in public, which is part of Indian tradition.
To start with, just a recap on what is marriage?. Marriage is an arrangement between two like minded people, which will lasts long, when there is emotional and physical attachment are there in equal. If one is high then the other, then a gap is formed in the marriage, which is never spoken and live a life that leads to clashes.
Usually, the first or second year of marriage will be good, due to equal physical & emotional attachment and a feel factor will exist within new couples due to various factor like new view points, new information, new approaches, new relationships, new emotions and so on. Every thing is new and the brain forms a good factor about life.
Let us consider a baby is conceived or born for the couple around the first or second year of marriage. Again, new relationships, emotions & physical attachment are renewed between the couple, due to the baby.
This feel factor will exist around when ...
if it is baby boy for 3 - 3 1/2 more years
if it is baby girl for 2 1/2 - 3 more years
If you look at the above statement, I have mentioned that the couple happiness lasts only 2 1/2 - 3 1/2 years after a kid is born? Seems to controversial and very targeting isn't it?
Let me try to explain you on this, in simple terms.
In Indian parenting traditional approach, when a kid is born, the attachment between the Mom & kid is there till s/he turns 12 years. What happens due to this? The attachment between couple reduces slowly. Remember physical & emotional attachment should be in EQUAL.
Just an eye-opener on this is :
The kid always hugs his/her Mom and sleeps, and naturally the husband/dad gives-in the first initial 2 to 3 years of birth of a kid, however when it prolongs, he feels that he wants the normal life back. This is the period where physical has been reduced drastically however emotional attachment still exist in the relationship, which bonds the couple to an larger extend.
For a relationship to last long, definitely you need to have both of them [things] in equilibrium. If you blame that the other is demanding, that is inability to understand the situations.
How do we over come this?
When the kid turns 3, teach him/her to sleep in a separate bed, preferably a separate bed-room also. Stick to it, what ever the situation is created by the kid. Why I am trying to say you this is, kids will be demanding and we might give-in very easily. Remember, this is parenting and you are not going to lose your relationship due to that hardship put on him/her. Don't give-in.
Once the kid is trained to sleep alone, then you will feel the attachment between couples blossom again and life is worth rewarding!
NOTE: I have specifically not used certain words & lines in this post, as I felt that those are not used to discuss in public, which is part of Indian tradition.
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